Moving On

It's been almost a week since Pa left us.

On one hand, I know that it's a good thing. That he no longer suffers. That his illness was short. That we were able to take care of him in during the 3 weeks he was sick. That his kids manage to pay filial piety before he dies. That we were able to be by his side at the time he breathed his last.

Some people commented that the fact he died before breakfast (at 6.32am) shows what a considerate person he was. That he left all good things (and all his meals) to his kids. He was also considerate in the sense that he died on a Monday, thus allowing us to observe all the 7th-day observations (on 7 consecutive sundays). We kids do not need to take leave from work.

One thing I'm truly thankful for is my 2nd Brother-in-Law who took it upon himself to settle all of Pa's medical bills. He certainly did not need to do so, and I'm grateful for his generosity.

I'm also grateful that somehow with all our differences, we 5 sisters and 1 brother remain united. (We hear stories about so and so who has a fall out with a sibling etc etc or so and so no longer on talking terms with a family member etc etc.)

So many things to be thankful for. So many blessings.... yet when I go to sleep at night, all the emotions come crowding in, and I start to weep. My eldest boy told me this morning that he don't know why, but when he closes his eyes at night - he wants to cry. I hug him and told him "It's ok to cry. In fact it's good to cry. We must spend some time mourning. Then we move on...."

I also pray that my mom will also mourn.... and then move on. She's been living with him for more than 45 years... now single again. I imagine it's not going to be easy for her.