Happy (belated) Father's Day!!!

2 weeks of school holiday.  Busy busy busy.
Bowling
Swimming
Trekking
Movies
Playgrounds
Running at the park
A-Famosa Water Park

Port Dickson

oh ....and yes ... Father's Day......

Did the kids do anything for their daddy? Well... gotta admit, it's not like Mother's day. I got chocolates, a card and a 'flower-thingy'. For Father's Day, he got hugs and kisses.

Life is good

Ramblings of a Mom

As Damian becomes a Teenager, the one person I keep having in my mind is ... my Pa.

 

I remember how Pa keep looking into the crib, but refused to carry such a small infant.

I remember when Damian reached his full-moon, and Pa awkwardly carried him and posed for a picture.

I remember how Pa said he gave up smoking because Damian was constantly coughing because of his allergy to ciggy smoke.

I remember Pa taking Damian and Marcus out to the playground so that my sister and I could have a little timeout.

I remember once when I wanted to cane Damian and Pa just whisked him away! Then I threatened Pa that if he doesn't allow me to cane that brat I will cane him [my son, not my Father :-D] harder!! But Pa just drove off to the shops and bought his grandson an ice-cream!

I remember when we first went to USA, how Damian, so tired from jet-lag was crying for his grandfather "I want my kung-kung. I want go back to Malaysia".

I remember how Pa used to save hundred of ringgit in coins and gave it to the grandchildren to be counted and divided amongst themselves. Pa was a good grandfather not only to my Damian, but to all his 13 grandchildren.

 Why the nostalgia? I guess... with kids growing up, I realised that I can't pause time, no matter how much I wanted to. I might have this desire to keep them small, to keep them with me forever.... but that's not possible. They have to grow up. They have to leave the nest one day.

 

Damian turning 13 is just one more step into that direction. I cant stop that, and I do not intend to. What I can do now is to continue to ground him, give him roots, and at the same time, strengthen his wings. He'll fly away one day. And I hope.... that he'll also learn to fly home once in a while.

 

Just like what Pa gave us......

 

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Chinese New Year

It's been a sweltering hot Chinese New Year.

It seems hotter than the previous CNY. Every year is hotter than the last. Global warming? Yar, that's what everyone's telling me.


Chinese New Year is quite different this year. Found myself blinking back tears many times, missing my Pa. Time has moved on. Yes, it gets easier, but sill missing him......

I had a great time going for get-togethers with family and friends. As on any festivity, we EAT, EAT and EAT some more!

Ate Yee Sang 7 times already this year!!  (according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yusheng, this practice started in Singapore)

This is the 'Must Have' during Chinese New Year.

The sumptious 8 course Chinese Dinner is as usual too much. Too much rich, meaty food and not enough vegetables.

   Gathering my courage, I stepped on the weighing scales!!!! OMG!!!!

 
 


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Moving On

It's been almost a week since Pa left us.

On one hand, I know that it's a good thing. That he no longer suffers. That his illness was short. That we were able to take care of him in during the 3 weeks he was sick. That his kids manage to pay filial piety before he dies. That we were able to be by his side at the time he breathed his last.

Some people commented that the fact he died before breakfast (at 6.32am) shows what a considerate person he was. That he left all good things (and all his meals) to his kids. He was also considerate in the sense that he died on a Monday, thus allowing us to observe all the 7th-day observations (on 7 consecutive sundays). We kids do not need to take leave from work.

One thing I'm truly thankful for is my 2nd Brother-in-Law who took it upon himself to settle all of Pa's medical bills. He certainly did not need to do so, and I'm grateful for his generosity.

I'm also grateful that somehow with all our differences, we 5 sisters and 1 brother remain united. (We hear stories about so and so who has a fall out with a sibling etc etc or so and so no longer on talking terms with a family member etc etc.)

So many things to be thankful for. So many blessings.... yet when I go to sleep at night, all the emotions come crowding in, and I start to weep. My eldest boy told me this morning that he don't know why, but when he closes his eyes at night - he wants to cry. I hug him and told him "It's ok to cry. In fact it's good to cry. We must spend some time mourning. Then we move on...."

I also pray that my mom will also mourn.... and then move on. She's been living with him for more than 45 years... now single again. I imagine it's not going to be easy for her.

Goodbye Pa

Pa passed on ....
Monday (July 20th) @ 6.32am.

We mourn .....
but we can move on ....
for we understand ....
it's better this way ....
to allow him ...
to leave his body ...
wrecked with pain ....
and go to a place ...
where eternal rest attained ....

A good man ...
With all his faults ....
A quiet man ...
who likes his mahjong ....

The testament of his Life...
Us 6 kids ...
All grown now ...
with kids of our own...

All of us ...
with no regrets ...
Say "Godbye Pa, go now in peace ...
You know for sure ...
We'll take care of Ma"

We see your smile ...
We feel your love ....
You say "I go now in peace...
For look at you kids ...
My work here ..
now is done...
This goodbye is not forever ...
Much unlike ...
Our love for each other ... "

At His Bedside

Its hard to explain just how I feel,
This moment seems so unreal.
It was only weeks ago
You were up and on the go.
Seeing you in so much pain and distress,
I pray the Lord would just lead you home,
away from the losing battle inside,
to a place where eternal peace awaits.

Happy Daddy's Day!!

Guess who's head this is?

Well... of course I have the full face photo as well... but I think he'll be embarassed if I post it up here. :-)

He was really sporting, playing with the kids, and he let the girls use him like their dolls. They really have an amazing time with him.

"Anyone can be a Father, but only he who really give his Heart can be a Daddy. "

I LOVE YOU DARLING.